September 13, 2011

• How do you get along with your opposite?

  September 4, 2011

  My wife and I got into an argument again today.  We both see time very differently.  She sees time as occurring in the present and prefers to plan spontaneously.  I see time as occurring in the future and prefers plan ahead.  When I want to plan something in the future with my wife, I make suggestions to her.  She had been misinterpreting my gestures as telling her what I want us to do instead of suggestions.  I misinterpreted her adding the events to the calendar as not wanting to discuss spending time together.  She is adverse to discussing the future because she believes that planning the future is a waste of time, especially when there are so many things to plan in the present.  My perspective is that I had already planned the present and most of it is already on the calendar and scheduled.  Therefore, it is necessary to plan the future, to move ahead, and to head forward in life.  It is, rather comical, that she feels that we are not enjoying the present, but thinking too far ahead and I feel that we are not planning our future together enough.  We both felt that we were sabotaging each others' plans and not caring about each others' needs.

  After a long conversation, we both learned that we were expressing love for each other, but not speaking in each others' "calendar" language (for lack of a better term to describe this phenomenon).  She was expressing her love to me at the moment and wanted to spend time with me at the moment and felt I was ignoring her expression of love for me by talking and discussing the future all the time.  I was expressing my love to her by planning the future with her and telling her that I do want to spend time with her.  I felt that she did not want to spend time with me because she did not want to discuss the future.  After clearly explaining to each other how much we love each other and wanted to express that love, we came to an agreement to allocate time on the calendar for planned events and spontaneity.

  This solution allows me to express my love to her by planning the future together while allowing her to express her love to me by being spontaneous at the moment.  We are going to give it two months and see how it goes.  However, I already have a feeling that this will work well and that both of our needs to feel loved and to care for each other will be met.  We both are optimistic about this.  

  Reflecting on our situation, I marvel at how Jesus could be fully man and fully God.  This calendar is both scheduled and spontaneous at the same time.  Looking to Jesus, I came to realize that love requires the best that we have to give to others, whether it be the best we have of our scheduled times or our spontaneous times, it is the best that love offers.  After, Jesus Christ gave us His best for us through His death on the cross.

  How you give the best of yourselves to others, both sides of the coin?

  Copyright 2011 by Christenstein

  • 9:30 am
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