September 14, 2011

  • How Does One Sort Through the Pain of being a Disciple?

    September 8, 2011

    On my way to Chick-Fil-A today, there was numbness in my heart that I have not felt in a long time.  It is the heart of God longing to reconnect with people who have turned their backs on Him and have chosen a path based on their imaginations and human interpretations of His word.  I have never felt this way before, a deep deep longing to reconnect with people who have turned their backs on God; yet being unable to do so because there is a rift between us.  It was so painful that I thought I was losing my mind much like @SirNickDon with the mice in his home silly.  It was really painful, that you love others and they turn their back on you, fail to support you, and fail to love you.  For some odd reason, deep within is a love that is emerging and it is peaceful, quiet and subtle.  It wants to reach out to these people again and to reconnect with them; yet it cannot because there is a chasm in between us.

    What happened is that they did not believe me when I told them that God instructed me to do things.  They questioned my relationship with God and my salvation as a result of their disbelief that God guides my life.  They interpret my mannerisms and behavior based on their cultural traditions, instead of the looking into the heart.  To make matters worse, when God came through with His word, their hearts were even more hardened towards Him.  However, it seems that God's heart is still for them, still for revealing to us a greater level who He is, reaching out to them and speaking them, not only through me, but desiring to speak to them Himself so that they can experience Him firsthand.  He wants this incredible personal relationship with them, but their hearts are hardened.  They do not believe that He can speak to them and they only believe that He speaks through the Bible, but it is unfortunate that the Bible can be interpreted in so many different ways that they could make the Bible say whatever they wanted the Bible to say - essential creating the God they wanted, instead of chasing after the one true God with all their hearts.

    And, the pain is not so much because I cannot have fellowship with those who seek to destroy and question my faith in God and those who do not take the time to understand things from the perspective of another culture - that I can forgive and work through given time.  What I cannot work through is the fact is they do not believe that God can speak to us personally, one on one because He loves us and cares about us.  They do not believe that God cares for every detail of our lives, but instead believes that God does what they think and want Him to do through their interpretations of the Bible.  God is God and that's why I am no longer their friends and my heart aches out for them to know the one true and God and be led to salvation.  Knowing the Bible is not enough - they need to know Jesus and to personally have experienced the Father through a relationship with Christ - sincerely repenting and accept Christ as their personal Savior.

    How do you sort through the pain of being Christian?  What cross do you bear as a Christian?

    Copyright 2011 by Christenstein

Comments (4)

  • What cross do you bear as a Christian?
    The cross of being separated from the world and the world's thinking, and sometimes feeling very alone in that walk... that aloneness can make me question my path.  So...
    How do you sort through the pain of being Christian?
    I accept God's will in, and for, my life.  I know, that I know, that I know (to quote one of the verses from a favorite song of mine), that God lives in me and can not to be denied.  I must follow the path layed out by Him.  'He knew the plans He had for me before I was created in the womb.'  There is this deep knowing in me that lives on and I turn to my Creator and His word daily.

  • Reading this again today a verse came to mind
    [paraphrase]
    [their iniquities have separated them from God]  Isaiah 59:2  "... your iniquities have separated between you and your God..."
    This is what breaks my heart... when I am unable to reach others with the word of God because their sins have separated them, and have hardened their hearts and seared their consciences so that they do not hear.

    It hurts to be called self righteous for wanting to share the love of God.  In a previous post I wrote; is it not they who falsely judge me...

    They turn
    "the fruit of righteousness into bitterness    — "  Amos 6:12

    Isn't
    this what people do when they try to accuse one who shares the word of
    God of being self-righteous.   Are they not the ones that are falsely
    judging?  Those who share the word usually do it out of the love that
    they have found and the desire to share, not out of some sense of
    superiority.  We who know the word of God already know that we are
    sinners.

  • @JstNotherDay - Thank you so much for Amos 6:12.  This is a prophetic confirmation for me that it was indeed God who was speaking to me regarding an incident.  It is incredible how God speaks to us and I am once again reassured that it is all in His hands.  And, thank for sympathizing with me.  I do feel alone at times and that only Jesus knows and understands me - it is the cross that a disciple carries.

  • @Christenstein - I am all the time awed at the way God uses us when we are open to Him and to His purposes.  Blessings to you. 

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