September 16, 2011

  • Same Page with God?

    Friday, September 9, 2011

    I am looking forward to the weekend.   It had been quite a long week at work.  Last night, I was able to sleep early and get some needed rest.  I don’t know about you, but I need my beauty rest – or else my fuse is shorter and I am grumpier.  Anyway, the weekend is coming up soon.  There were many unexpected and unplanned things that happened this week and that’s okay.  My wife thinks that I plan too many things and am too rigid with it.  Yes, I use the calendar often, but it is only a tool to communicate and organize information – things happening when, things possibly happening when, and things that I consider.

    What is interesting is that there was always a miscommunication because of a lack of communication.  I always want to discuss events with her beforehand and she thinks that my discussion of the events means that I want to attend.  We ended up attended everything that I suggested because of this.  It was not until I communicated that I was only making suggestions that our schedule finally got better and that she is more willing to communicate last minute plans and ideas for the evening.  I am always up for new ideas and change in plans, but it needs to be communicated, not just hoisted upon me especially when I have other ideas for the evening.

    Yeah, she does not use a calendar, but she still has ideas for the week, ideas for the future in the same way that I do.  I just put the ideas in my head on the calendar.  She only puts things on the calendar when it is set in stone.  I put things on the calendar that I consider, that I think are interesting, and that I think I may attend.  Depending on my mood and feelings that day, the weather, or a variety of other things, I may not come to the events at all on my calendar.  Of course, there are events that we must attend, like educational seminars and service, but there are some that are optional.

    Last night was wonderful, she was free to do her exercising and I was free to rest.  We finally came to an understanding that it is important to communicate our needs to each other, especially what ideas we have about the time.  I had high hopes for the calendar and was hoping to accomplish communication through it, but it just scared her – to see all the events on my calendar and to think that she must be there.   After a few months, we finally came to understand that when I put something on the calendar, I wanted to discuss it.  She usually discusses it when it comes closer to the event and the events are in her head.

    I asked her to think of the events on the calendar as what is going in my head for the future just like what she does, but keeps in her head.  I write it down and she does not.  In the end, I am flexible enough to change plans and to move in different directions as long as it is communicated.  One does not expect another to do things according to one’s whim (spontaneously, but to discuss ideas beforehand, whether it be days before or seconds before – your partner should agree to the activities, not be forced into them).  And in order for her do to something with me or for me to do something with her, we both need to communicate that desire somehow.  I use the calendar.  She does it verbally.  In the end, we both accomplish the same thing, figuring what to do with our future time and as long as we are on the same page – our relationship can move forward and flourish.

    Are you on the same page with the Father in terms of His Son’s sacrifice for our sins?  How do you get on the same page with the Father so your relationship with the Father can flourish and grow?

    Copy 2011 by Christenstein