About a year ago today, after receiving the blessing of the Interim Pastor to leave the old church and go to a new church, I set up a conversation with the Youth Pastor, the only other Pastor in the old church at the time to get his blessing also (see post dated June 5, 2009).  In my emails to the "pseudo-leadership," I carbon copied the Youth Pastor so that this conversation could occur and to keep him informed of what is occurring in the old church.  After all, he is God's true and chosen leadership of the old church, not the deacons and definitely not the deacon board.  We had a long conversation and I ended up going to work late that day, but we prayed and there was peace over the decision that God wanted me to make.

My discussions about important matters were with the true and chosen leadership of the old church, not the pretend pseudo-leadership of the old church, the deacon board, who kidded themselves because there was an Interim Pastor.  Transitional church, Interim Pastor or not, God has a structure in place for the authority in a church and that structure must be respected.  Saint Paul makes it clear that we should respect the authorities because God placed them there.  The pseudo-leadership disrespected the authorities, admonish others based on lies and rumors, and landed themselves into a period of divine discipline - thumb, shoulder, and vertebrae [only to have the senior member/elder healed ending the divine discipline on March 7, 2010 when the board finally submitted to God's intended authority structure and proposed to give the Pastor a vote on boards and committees in the church].  And, they (some of the deacons) had the nerve to ask me at the time why I "dragged" the Youth Pastor into this when it was a "deacon board decision".  As a son of God, I know who to submit to, who is anointed in the old church, and who is not.  It is as simply as that.  I knew whose word overrode whose word in that church and whose word God honored above whose word.  I know my Father and I know how my Father works. 

May we remember who are the truly anointed leadership and who we are to submit to in a church.  May we respect and love God by knowing what His intended structure is, who we should submit to, and what authorities are the ones that He instituted and which ones are the ones that came about as a result of satanic grabs for power, insecurities, and political maneuvers that had no place in a church.  For God honors who honors His authorities and blesses those who blesses His authorities.

A year ago today, I sent in my request to the "deacon board" the pseudo-leadership of the old church to take my name of the membership rooster.  As I have revealed the intimate details of the confirmations that Father made me to me a year ago, it is clear in my mind that He wanted me to leave the old church and go to the new church.  And since one year has passed, He has blessed me tremendously with people who I can call my true friends, who do not betray me on board votes, who forgive me and help me grow in Christ Jesus, who challenge me to live as a Christian should, and who encourage me to step out in faith to use my spiritual gifts.  The past year has been the best year in my Christian walk so far.  From the deliverance of the demon to the deliverance of the bondage associated with the bar exam and of achieving, I had grown in the freedom that Christ had come to the earth in the flesh to give all of us.  And, if I could go back and do it all over again with the pain, the grief, the misunderstandings, the prophetic messages of God's pending divine disciplines on the board going awry with their taking authority that was not theirs to begin with, I would.  I would do all over again because I know who my Father is and I know that He will protect me and keep His promises.

It was actually really silly how they thought I was angry with them for their "rebuke" and how I did everything out of anger.  Now, that I had revealed all the confirmations, all the discernment, and all the steps that were taken in according to what God had told me, it is them who were thinking in the ways of men and were out of touch with the Spirit of God.  It was them who were not in touch with the Spirit and did not have the wisdom that came from above, the wisdom most pure.  And, it was them who was divinely disciplined by the Lord Himself - thumb, shoulder, and vertebrae.   The man with the fractured vertebrae had the longest disciplinary period because he administered the most injustice.  He was finally healed on March 7, 2010 when the pseudo-leadership, the "board," finally came to its senses and proposed to give the Pastors in the church votes in its boards and committees.  It was about time they gave the true and chosen leadership of God a say in shepherding the church.  For that proposal, for that repentance in turning back to the Jesus and to Father God's ways, by merely proposing the proposal, God saw it fit to heal the man with the fractured vertebrae.  As the Bible states, no prophecy comes about through the will of man, but is carried onward by the Holy Spirit.  Indeed, Father God has spoken through His Spirit and has proven that His Spirit has spoken these prophecies; these events did not happen or occur by the will of man, but by the power of His Spirit (and not ironically, this is one of the last sermons that the Interim Pastor, who through the power of His Spirit leaves the old church with - not a coincidence, but the work of God's Spirit).

In the end, God Almighty has cleared my name against the accusations made by the pseudo-leadership of the old church.  He is true to His word  - if He said He divinely disciplined the "board" back in the summer of 2009 and that's what I communicated to them, then that's what happened - they were divinely disciplined.  And, He has shown Himself true and faithful to His servant, to those who stay on the narrow path.

May we all be encouraged to continue in the narrow path and to know that God remains faithful us, who remain in Him and abide in Him and love with Him with all our heart, all our mind, all our soul, and all our strength.

Edits in red.

Two years ago today, the Holy Spirit convicted me and made me go to the camping trip the kids.  I did not like camping.  It was dirty when it rained.  It was cold at night.  The outdoors was not that great.  During that trip, God changed my heart towards His creation in nature.  There was a huge storm.  I was sleeping in the tent and it collapsed.  Worried for my friend, I held the tent up.  It was very dark.  The wind was blowing really hard.  I kept on asking if he was okay.  Afraid that the beam from the tent, as this was a big and sturdy tent, may have knocked him out, I continued to ask if he was okay.  Finally, he asked me if I was okay.  I said I was.  I eventually found out he was safe and outside.  He had gotten all the kids safely into the vans.  And, he wanted me to leave.  Before I left the tent, I searched for my Bible in the dark.  I did not want want to lose all the notes and quiet times that I had with Jesus.  That was when I realized that my relationship with Jesus was very important to me (as He moved me to go on this camping trip and sent that storm to reveal to me where my heart was as it related to Him) and that I would give up my life in the face of danger to keep memories of it (the storm knocked down almost all of the tents except one).  From that day forth, my attitude towards camping changed. 

About a year ago today, I prayed and asked the Lord for a sure event of confirmation - that He Himself provide me the opportunity to speak to the Interim Pastor about my switching churches and that the Interim Pastor provides the blessing.  A year ago today sometime during this week, I visited a friend to talk about my trip to Asia.  It was the first time I learned to play the game Phase 10 and it was fun.  As the events of the day unfolded, the Interim Pastor came.  He was staying there every week at that day of the week.  That was the confirmation prayed for and the conversation went well.  God provided me the blessing from His true and chosen leadership from the old church - the Body of Christ was speaking in concert with one voice.  The old "leadership," the deacon board, went against the true and chosen leadership and paid dearly for their disobedience to God's anointed (placing themselves under divine discipline).

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God created a memory stone on Saturday. - He spoke through my friend.  My friend kept his word in a situation similar to a situation at the old church.  This healed me of the wound there.

God created a memory stone on Sunday.  -  He spoke through another friend into my childhood.  His Spirit healed a deep wound there.

Two years ago today, after struggling with God for about a year, I finally changed one of my middle names and got peace from God.  My name means, "For God is gracious sending us Christ our stone/rock, who is the origin of all our wisdom/knowledge."  Crazily enough, I have lived up to my name relying on the wisdom of God as given to me in the Bible and through personal revelation, even to my own detriment at times.  He has shown Himself true to me and I trust Him fully.  And, in the past few days, He has shown that to be true, absolutely true that I trust Him completely and that He is origin of my wisdom and knowledge (more details about what I am trusting Him with be shared later when the timing is right and yes, it is crazy - as in a fool for Christ).  And, so today, I celebrate this memory stone that is God's declaration of who I am.

Only Father God would know my name to that degree because only Father God knows me in that detail. 

Christenstein

The Divine Phone Call

Going from one church to another is something that one should not take lightly and something that one should not decide based on feelings.  And, a year ago, I had been praying for Father God to make it clear to me that this is the course of action that He wants - He directs my paths, no one else does.  And, indeed, He does direct my path - He always has.  A year ago today, I got a divine phone call from my spiritual mentor from the third grade up until high school.  He is a Catholic priest and had a tremendous influence on my life.  He taught me the scriptures in a very unbiased and even handed way, telling me most theologies he knew in the best and unbiased way that he could.  Father God arranged it this way -- I could not get along with the kids my age due to my fears of mis-communicating in the English language, due to fears and insecurities in an English-speaking atmosphere, and due to other problems that I was dealing with at the moment.  The priest taught me most of what he knew from the Bible, from Baptist theology to Catholic theology.  At that point in my life, I truly thought I was going to be a priest because Father God seemed to have placed me in situations and circumstances where I was learning his word.  The priest and I are friends until this day.  And, he is the first spiritual mentor Father God provided me in my spiritual journey.

A year ago today, the priest called me.  He never called me in five years.  He was trying to reach me.  It was 1:30 in the morning and I was sleepy so I did not talk to him (see post May 19, 2009).  I did not write about the conversation I had with him afterward when I returned his phone call because I did not feel that the timing was right.  In that conversation, he told me that the he sensed that God was telling him that I was going through a major transition in my life and that I should not afraid of it.  He told me that I should obey and follow what God has planned for me and that I should not listen to what others are telling me, especially those who are blind to the spiritual reality.  When he told me about the spiritual reality, it hit me like a ton of bricks, the interim pastor at the old church had a sermon about the same subject matter a few weeks earlier.  And, a year ago in the upcoming days/weeks, I posted about how God gave me impressions of changes in the seasons.  Everything seemed to point to change and this phone call has me seriously considering that God wants me to change church.  One member of the Body of Christ has come out of the woodwork to back me up and to speak up with one voice - God's voice.  God is a God of order, not confusion.  And, it seemed for a moment that the old church wanted me to do one thing and God wanted me to do another, but this phone call proved otherwise.  The Body of Christ was speaking to me and it was telling me to leave the old church.  However, God told me to finish the work that He had me do there because I was serving Him and not man.  I was scheduled for projection for the upcoming months, so I needed to get those things done.  I was scheduled to get do hospitality work for the annual business meeting as the chair of that committee, so I needed to get that done.  God clearly reminded me that I was serving Him and had always been serving Him and not the people in the old church.  And, I should continue to serve Him and that He will take care of the rest.  And, He did in a mighty way, in a way that I will always remember and carry with me as I move forward in any ministry.

Another Mentor's Birthday

Father God had been changing the meaning of memory stones in the past few days.  These memory stones are not yet a year old and I do not even have the time to celebrate their anniversaries.  However, Father God always sees it fit to give the stones a newer meaning beyond the meaning that they had earlier.  A year ago today, there was a very significant phone call in my walk with the Lord.  It caused me to consider seriously the direction that God wants me to go.  And, it is fitting that this memory of a special divine phone call confirming a major decision in my life would fall on the birthday of one of a handful of the most significant and influential mentors in my life.

This mentor is special.  All my mentors are special in their unique ways.  This one is special because he prophesied my salvation 42 days before it happened.  After I asked God for a witness to the "allegory of the gospel of grace," God gave him the knowledge that I was going to come to Christ and he communicated that to the forum.  He taught me a lot about God Himself through his relationship with the Father.  I had already known a lot about the Bible through the Catholic priest (who even-handedly taught me the scriptures).  This mentor taught and modeled what an intimate relationship with the Father looks like.

Therefore, it is appropriate that Father God puts new meaning into this memory stone, the day that it was clear to me that I was leaving the old church and going to the new church.  The new meaning is that the birthday of my mentor, who prophesied my salvation and got me thinking seriously about Jesus, led me into a new season of my life.  The divine phone call did the same thing.  It led me into a new season of my life.  This memory stone is a memory stone of God's communication to me about new seasons in my life.  And, indeed another new season has started today even.

Praise the Lord!

A year ago two days ago, God told me to be a friend to someone and that friendship blossomed.  The friend eventually asked me to be a groomsman in his wedding (the effects of that will be discussed through that/another memory stone).  Father God has chosen to give new meaning to this memory stone (the day the friendship started) just as He gave new meaning to Israel's memory stone, the Passover, when He turned it into the Last Supper.  Throughout the Bible, this is how we learn God operates and we see Him doing this with various things.  Saint Paul mentions the things of the Old Testament as a shadow of Christ.  In the same sense, the memory stone that I presented is a shadow of the things that He wants me to see.  It is a shadow of what He is currently pointing to, whatever it is.  And, whatever He is pointing to is incredible.  I have had glimpses of it and it is blowing my mind and heart away.

Anyway, the memory stone for the day that this special friendship began turned into a memory stone of friendships that began decades and a half-ago (and even before that).  My extended family lives in Chicago, but I did not want to remember that (until after He started a big healing process into my past that started after my return from Asia) because most of my memories were very painful ones.  The damages from the war were painful for my parents/aunts/uncles/etc. and they, psychologically/emotionally damaged, affected me dramatically/greatly.  I was a sensitive kid.  So, I grew up an expert in blocking everything out.  And, I created defense mechanisms to make sure those memories don't come back to haunt me.  I put up walls and doghouses (they carried over to xanga, facebook, etc.).  I block people, kept people at a distance, and never got close to anyone.  I did not want to dig that deep into myself and into those memories.  I kept things at a superficial level and I always ran forward most of my life, never looking back.  It was fun to do so.  And, people were really amazed at how I could do it.  It was easy.  You just numb yourself to the past and just move forward.  You don't keep pictures. 

After I accepted Christ, Father God was doing good things in my life and He will continue to do it, so I needed to remember.  And, I learned about the stones of remembrance in the Bible.  I thought to myself, awesome!  I can remember these things once a year in isolation without remembering much of my past.  I can celebrate God once a year and honor Him this way without remembering other things.  He commands it in the Bible.  Yup, all the good memories without the bad ones.  Life is good!  So off I went with my memory stones, remembering and celebrating them every year.  Then, on the anniversary of my stepping into the new church, the Lord told me that He would open the floodgates .  All those memories with sorrow in them, He is opening with a flood.  And, He has.  Along with the memories good memories are the painful ones too.  But, the good ones are worth remembering despite the painful ones, I have learned.  Here is why.

So, my friend and I decided on the last minute not to go to Diary Queen, but to Dairy Star.  (My friend told me later that a picture of Dairy Star just came to my friend's head. I believe that God gave my friend a picture to redirect our plans last Sunday.  I believe this is the case because of what resulted from our eating ice cream at the Diary Star.  I cannot say that God gave my friend the picture.  I cannot speak for my friend, but I can say that this is what I believe.).  Dairy Star has been there for as long as I know.  In the past from the time I was ten-ish to my teen years, I used to play in the playground across the street with the neighbors' kids in the summers when we visited my grandparents.  We played basketball and pretended to be Michael Jordan.  And, we would get really tired and sweaty.  Some of our aunts and/or uncles would be watching us.  And, once in a while, we would make a trip to Dairy Star for ice cream.

Two days ago, the same day a year ago when He told me to make one of the most meaningful friendships in my life (or so I thought), He brings me back to my teens/childhood.  Then, I realized that I had happy memories here in Chicagoland with the neighborhood kids, my cousins, aunts, uncles, etc., and the summer sun beating on backs.  And, Father God timed it impeccably to this Sunday.  It wasn't my idea to go to Diary Star.  It wasn't even my idea to get ice cream.  It was all my friend's idea.  And, He chose to give this memory stone a new meaning, a meaning much deeper, much more profound, and much more complete than the one I had for it. 

So, I thought I had meaningful friendships recently.  Well, guess what?  He tells me that I had meaningful friendships then.  Father God, He never stops blowing my mind away.  He never does.

Why are His memory stones of me always better than my memory stones of Him?    I am just kidding.  I know He is our Father God and He is just looking over my shoulder at my memory book and saying, "son, that memory you have there.  It ain't quite the way you remembered it.  It's like this."  And, then He tells me about the memories He has of me.  Yep, that's what a Father does and that's what He did last Sunday.

Wocka Wocka Wocka!

A year ago yesterday, Father God told me to be a friend to a person who started to attend the new church around the same time I did.  I just started to visit the new church.  He already wanted me to return to this church every week, but I know Father God speaks to me, so I obeyed.  To make the long story short, this friendship blossomed into one of the most meaningful friendships I had in my  life.  It created memories that I would treasure for the rest of my life because they are memories that Jesus prepared before time to heal of wounds and show me that this church is the church He wants me to be at.  The friendship eventually led to my participation as one of the groomsman for my friend's wedding.  It was the first time that I was a groomsman for a wedding, ever.  Apparently, God sent me into his life at a very important time and worked through both of us.  In hindsight, God was preparing me for the friendships that He prepared for me at this new church and He needed to soften my heart to them. 

This is a memory that I would definitely treasure because it opened my heart up to the possibilities of meaningful friendships for me and healed me of some deep wounds.    Go, Father God! 

I remembered that God led me to the old church through a woman who invited me to the old church when I was riding a train.  And, I know that God can lead me to the new church just as easily through any means He wants.  He is God.  And, if He wants me to go to another church, so be it.  It was He who led me to the old church and it will be Him who will lead me to a new church.  He is the Lord and Master of my life, not human beings, not the people at the old church, not the people at the new church, not the leadership at either churches.  The LORD is my owner and He directs my path.  And, since He had told me to be a friend to someone, I knew I would be there for a while.

Father God brought back to a memory that I had when I was a teenager.  My father was an abusive man - he had issues associated with the war and it was not his fault.  He was violent at times and would beat me up when he was angry.  So, when there was an accident in front of the home, which was not even my fault, he got really angry and took it out on me.  I was really sad and crying.  I went under the table and took my Bible with me.  And, I started to read it.  I did not even know Jesus then, but I knew Father God and how He spoke to me and comforted me, so I was reaching out to Him.

Father God brought me back to this memory, not to bring back grief, frustrations, and/or anger on part of my dad, but to show me that I knew Him really well and that during times of frustrations and despair, I did reach out to Him.  He showed me that He and I were friends when I was growing up.  He would teach me things when I was growing up.  He would teach me His word.  I commented, "So, that is how I knew your word so much better than the old church leadership."  Father God just laughed and said, "Not only had I taught you the word verbally.  I had made your life many lessons of My word."  He then showed me how I spent a lot of time with Him in my childhood because there was really no one else to spend time with.  Everyone else spoke another language and it was hard to make friends.  And, He pointed to how I wanted those times back at the particular point in time when I crawled under that table and took out my Bible to read.  Then, He showed me that there was an increasing chasm between Him and me, something that happened between my childhood and the teenage years that made it even harder for me to hear and interact with Him.  That was sin.  He told me that it was already there in the beginning, but it got worse and worse as time progressed.

And, He showed He needed to draw me back to Him through His Son Jesus Christ by sincere repentance and accepting His Son Jesus as my personal Savior, Lord and Master.  But He knew that I was a hardheaded person and would not believe, so He told me about how I would find His Son beforehand when the chasm was not wide enough during the time when I could hear Him, so that I would believe.  So, that when the events did occur, I would believe in His Son and come back to Him, like how we were in those childhood years.

" 'I remember the devotion of your youth,
how as a bride you loved me
and followed me through the desert,
through a land not sown.  (Jeremiah 1:2 NIV)

He does remember the devotion of my youth.  Father God does have memory stones of me (see Wednesday's post when He told me that did)!  That is so awesome.  His word, which reveals His character and person says that He does and He tells me that He does, so it makes sense that He does.  Wow, He has memory stones of me!  That is so cool! 

When I visited the house group on Friday (a year ago, Friday a week ago) evening again a year later for my anniversary of the first time I ever stepped into a the new church, some of the people remembered me.  I shared the story again of how I was there a year ago because God commanded me to visit to this church and how He gave the words "evangelical charismatic" to search for on the web.  I was in tears of joy because I felt the presence of the Lord again in the room.  He met me there.  One person remembered me asking her a question.  The question was, "How are you sure it is the Holy Spirit?"  Yes, I went to that house group this evening a year ago and received a massive dose of the Holy Spirit and never was the same again.  And, I had all these questions.  The most important question was, "How are you sure it is the Holy Spirit?"  I had certainly noticed that whenever other some Christians had seen something out of the ordinary, they immediately dismiss it as demonic.  However, I know that God works in incredible ways.  I had seen God preach the gospel to me through an allegory on a discussion forum throughout the world with both believers and non-believers so I know that anything is possible.  Plus, I had had pictures, impressions, and words before, so this was nothing out of the ordinary for me - and, I had visions before.  I went home and asked the Lord about the experiences and asked Him to make it clear to me that I should be going to this new church.

A year ago today, I went to another house group on Thursday.  This gave me the opportunity to check out the house group and new church without interfering much with the old church.  My experience with the house group was a really good one.  What impressed me the most was their listening to God for each other.  They picked one person to listen to God for and they shared what they heard -- pictures, impressions, feelings, whatever.  I was impressed with that.  This church actually believes that God speaks to us and believes that God speaks to us for others.  I continued to come back to the house group for the few weeks that was left until the summer started.  It was a short few weeks, but it was one of the best few weeks of my life.  Why?  Because I had the chance to experience God in such an incredible way, in ways that I had never experienced Him before, and I could never go back to the old ways without the Holy Spirit, which was true fellowship with brothers and sisters, an experience with Christ binding us together -- same as the experiences I has on the forum as I was evangelizing with other brothers.  It was this small group in combination with other events that made it clear to me that God indeed wanted me to go to this church.

And, I felt life coming back to me again, the same life that I had when I first met Christ.  And, it is surely a hard thing leaving one church and going to another, but God is God and when God says, He says.  And, He eventually made it clear to me through many other means, means that I will continue to share here as the anniversary for the memory stones come.  In short, the means were: 1) a divinely appointed meeting, 2) a divinely initiated phone call, and 3) a divine appointment.  Changing churches is a big decision and it must be made with God's blessing and this surely is - I had the best one year of my life so far!

The children of God hears God's voice.

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. (John 10:27 NIV)

It is written in the Prophets: 'They will all be taught by God.' Everyone who listens to the Father and learns from him comes to me. (John 6:45 NIV)

This is what the prophets meant when they wrote, 'And then they will all be personally taught by God.' Anyone who has spent any time at all listening to the Father, really listening and therefore learning, comes to me to be taught personally—to see it with his own eyes, hear it with his own ears, from me, since I have it firsthand from the Father. (John 6:45 MSG)

I am taught personally by God and so are my brothers and sisters in the faith.  This is possible because they hear God's voice and listen to the Father.  This is possible through an intimate Father-son or Father-daughter relationship.