Look what my wife made me for dinner last night!  It's a fusion style dinner - steak with noodles and Chinese vegetables.  Very creative!

I love her.  

My wife and I get into really intense arguments.  We both have different ways of seeing the world, different ways of processing information, different ways to communicate to others, and many other differences.  Her personality is the total opposite of my personality.  She relates to people based on their moods and emotions, which is awesome and necessary.  She can pick up subtleties in language because she can sense feelings, tone, and moods.  In a given situation when two people say the exactly same thing, she can pick up what is being said instead of what is said.  This in turn makes her a total social expert able to connect to others in an incredible way.  On the other hand, I am a logical person and process information by what is said.  When what is said does not seem logical or well-thought out, I sense through logic what is being said instead what is actually said.  As you can see, as the two of us absorb process information differently, there are bound to be disagreements, conflicts, and arguments based on these differences in interpreting information.

Now, imagine the following scenario.  Of course, the follow is a generalization, but hopefully, it will communicate a point.  When I talk to my wife, she cannot detect any emotion or feeling in what I say.  She feels that I am robot and just speak things logically.  It frustrates her that she cannot connect to me in the way that she knows how.  On the other hand, I cannot connect to her logically.  She is communicating feelings to me and I cannot pick them up.  Perhaps, to oversimplify things, one of us is a thinker and the other a feeler.  Imagine all the wonderful and marvelous misunderstandings that result from these two different paradigms.   And, yes, we do get into arguments because we are not hearing each other and understanding each other.  The world would tell us that we are incompatible, that we communicate love differently, that we are too different to be together.

God says differently.  In 1 Cor 12, Paul clearly communicates to us the importance of sharing our gifts and the diversity that is in the body of Christ.  Instead of thinking that decisions based on feelings are flawed, I am starting to think that it is a strength - for example, compassion and grace are wonderful and magnificent facets of our God.  Instead of thinking that logic is flawed, my wife is starting to appreciate it during the time when problems need to be solved and an analytic mind is needed.  We used to rip each other apart by attacking our strengths.  We understand that our greatest strengths can be our greatest weaknesses and our greatest weaknesses can be our greatest strengths.  What I see as weakness is a strength and what she sees as weakness is a strength.  As we learn to let each other use our gifts for the glorify of God, we become a more complete person, making up for what for what we lack individually.  Together, it is marvelous because we can see situations from the perspectives of those more tuned to feelings and those more tuned to logic.  We understand others better and in a dimension that impossible to do so if we both are clones of one another.

What keeps us together is not our human love for one another.  We are too different to accomplish that.  What keeps us together is God and His views on how we should embrace each other's strength (1 Cor 12:7).  What keeps us together is God telling is that the greatest among faith, hope, and love is love (1 Cor 12-13).  It is His love for us and we both see in each others' lives that keep us together.  It is Jesus who we serve that keeps us together.  He has given us the same mission and call in life.  Arguments end with Him telling and reminding us what we need to do for His glory.  When we chase Jesus with all our hearts, those differences, which seem difficult to overcome actually is overcome through His love for us and subsequently, our love for one another.  He is our Sustainer, our Counselor, our Lord, our Master, and He is indeed LOVE conquering all.

Do you remember a time when you loved someone who was difficult to love and you know it was Christ in you?

Copy 2011 by Christenstein

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.(Eph 2:8-10)

As I reflect on the past week, I marvel with the grace and love of God.  My wife and I are His workmanship, brought together as one and made to do the work that He is prepared us both to do.  What is marvelous about this is that when I read the verse as a single, I thought that the works are prepared for me and only for me, but since He has been speaking and continues to speak to us both about His plans for our future, I came to realize that not only that we are one as He joined us together, but also that the works that He has prepared us to do are for us (not for me - this verse went from an individualized interpretation to a marriage interpretation).  This is true because we both are one flesh.

God has been speaking to us both about our lives and what He wants us to do with it.  Individually, He guided us in a single walks.  At one point in our marriage, we wondered what and marveled at the mystery that was before us.  What He called my wife to do and what He called me did not seem to make much sense because it did not overlap.  It seemed for a moment that God was asking each of us to do totally different and unrelated things.  I prayed for a marriage in which God is at the center and that He guides us personally.  So, when He started to speak to us both about our future, I was not surprised.  I was excited about it, but at the same time, I was not ready for it.  Sometimes, even if one knows what one is supposed to do, one may not be ready for it.  The confirming word came from my wife, but I was not ready to hear it - it was too sudden for me.  I did not expect it to happen so soon, so fast, and so quick.  I needed more time and I wanted to more time to be ready.

However, are we ever really ready even when we know what God has called us to do in His Kingdom?  As I look back at the hall of fame for faith, I notice that Peter was not ready, Moses was not ready, Paul was not ready, but when God called them or provided them the timing, they did it.  In the same way, since I know that this is God with no debate and His timing is prefect, I know that I am ready on faith in Christ, not on what I see, what I hear, what I think, and what I perceive.  For the righteous shall live by faith and not be sight.

He is so graceful and loving, choosing me to do this particular thing for His kingdom.  I am so grateful that He somehow counts me worthy of this task even after what I had done.  I cannot express the extent of His love for me.  And, in this love, my wife and I continue to plow forward, to abide, that we know that His love is what keeps us together as we ourselves cannot be kept together if left to our fleshy devices.

Do you think you will ever be ready for what He calls you to do?

Copy 2011 by Christenstein

The Cost of Being a Disciple

Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple.  And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it?  For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, saying, ‘This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.’

 “Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.

“Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out.

“He who has ears to hear, let him hear.” (Luke 14:25-35)

Here, Jesus tells us the cost of following Him is great.  There are times when we will have to choose Him over our parents, over our friends (1), over the world – basically, to put Him first in our hearts.  He warns us to count the cost before we commit so that we can reach the end.  What has happened in our churches today is that we do not encourage, nor do we teach people the cost before the altar call.  Instead, people convert to Christianity based on their understanding of Jesus’ grace and forgiveness through the cross while forgetting that the cross is the cost of following Christ.  He has clearly communicated the cost to us by dying Himself and later raising up again bodily on the third day.

Besides teaching a false gospel of cheap grace and free forgiveness, these churches also teach that once you believe and have faith, you are saved and there is nothing more for you to do.  This teaching is not only heretical, it denies the cross.  The cross clearly communicates to us the ultimate cost of following Jesus and the importance of denying ourselves.  The cross clearly communicates to us that it is not easy to believe and have true faith in this world.  The cross clearly communicates to us that forgiveness and grace does not come easy.  It came at a price and that price is the gruesome death of the innocent One on the cross.

So great is the emphasis on forgiveness that some “Christians” emphasize this over all other characteristics of Christ.  It seems as though the culture worships forgiveness and grace rather Christ, the One true God.  I am certainly not denying that forgiveness and grace are a part of the Christian walk, what I am saying is that some overemphasize these characteristics and make them idols.  Some even think that forgiveness and grace means everything comes back to the way it was.  Others think that forgiveness and grace means the relationship is restored.  Why people forget verses in the Bible that tell us to pick our friends, to not hang around those who make us stumble, to not befriend a man given to anger, and a myriad of other verses on Christian living just beats me.  But the Bible is clear – relationships need discernment.  For Christ, one should have discerned that the cost is the cross (both for Him and for us).  For others, one should discern what the costs are and whether one should proceed.  When the cost of a relationship is that it draws us away from Christ, then we should not have that relationship at all as the cost is not even worth it.  It is unfortunate that some "Christians" have attempted to draw me away from Christ.  They deny that I have a relationship with Him and do not believe that He is my friend.  When I tell them that He speaks to me, their minds go blank maybe because they cannot conceive God being that close to a person – they rather have God at arm’s length, reading their Bibles, interpreting it the way they want, and forgetting that relationship with the Father is what Christianity is all about.

And, for my wife and I, that is the cost.  The cost is not only that we could lose our parents and family, but also we could lose our friends.  In fact, those who claimed to be "Christians" and did not believe that a relationship with God (that is one on one conversation with God Himself) is possible through Jesus are no longer our friends.  This is the cost of being a disciple.  Sure, these people are really nice and we get along, but when they, as “Christians,” constantly question whether God speaks to us at all, they are being like the snake in the Garden of Eden.  We do not need these types of “Christians” in our lives.  They shipwreck the faith, the relationship that we have with the Almighty.

And, it is because of Christ that we continue to press despite this church or that church.  We are called to be loyal to Him and only to Him, not to our church, not to other “Christians,” but to Christ Himself.  If a church or any person has a problem with our loyalty and commitment to Christ, then I question their “Christianity” and wonder if they understand the truth of the passage above coming straight of Christ’s mouth.

(1) Here, there is a difference between friendships and acquaintances.  It seems the word friend has been diluted in American culture and we call friends people who are actually acquaintances, do not know us well, and are not like-minded.  Perhaps, my view of friendships is narrow, but in life, a few true friends is precious.

What do you believe is the cost of being a disciple?  What costed you already?

Copyright 2011 by Christenstein

This morning, I read the Bible, some devotions, and meditate on Christ Jesus.  I work on devotions and commentaries.  I am also working on a Bible Study series in Acts.  I also pray and have a conversation with God.  Now, to the bathroom routine, breakfast, and then coffee.

What do you do in the morning?

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully. (Rom 12:3-8)

The last devotion communicated my reflections and meditations on Rom 12:1-3.  In that devotion, God tells us the importance of being living sacrifices just as Christ Himself was a living sacrifice for the atonement of our sins.  The following verses illustrate further to me what means to be living sacrifices in the context of the church.  Everyone has different gifts and talents that God has given to them and distributed through the Holy Spirit.  Some gifts are not meant to be more revered than the other, nor is one gift better than another.  These gifts are meant to be shared for the glory of God and we are meant to work together contributing our gifts to the body, gifts that only we can contribute.

In the context of marriage where two people are made into one flesh, the basic truth still applies.  While I know that some legalists and fundamentalists will say that these verses have nothing to do with marriage and that it has everything to do with the church because this is what God said, we need to remember that God also tells us that marriage is to reflect Christ's relationship to the church.  In our marriage, my wife and I have different gifts and we both contribute something unique to the marriage.  We have totally opposite personalities according to the Briggs Meyer.  One way/personality is not necessarily better than the other.  One personality emphasizes facts more than relationships and the other relationships more than fact.   What we have discovered is that by bringing the best that we have to the table, we both become a more balanced person, emphasis facts in love through relationships.  And, as such, we both learn more about what God means by letting others in the church use their gifts.  We definitely use our gifts and strengths, not only to challenge ourselves and move ourselves closer to the image of Christ, but also to reflect the mystery of the Body of Christ, the Church.

Copyright 2011 by Christenstein

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Rom 12:1-3)

In Romans 12:1-3, God makes clear that there is an expectation that true believers of Christ give themselves up as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God.  The first living sacrifice is Jesus Christ, who died a bodily death and rose up again on the third day.  Our spiritual act of worship is to live as Jesus did, giving up ourselves for God.  The individualized culture teaches us to put ourselves first and to seek instant gratification - an observation of what sells reveals to us that the culture is self-focused.  If we examine the advertising, we see that Burger King's motto is "Have it your way," see that McDonald's motto is "I'm living it," see that beer commercials appeal to sex, and other commercials appeal other idols.  We see very little in the culture that glorifies and/or puts Jesus Christ first.  Instead of telling us to put God first, the culture is clearly telling us to put ourselves first.  This is contrary to the the Christian life - we are called to give our bodies as living sacrifices in the same way that Jesus Christ gave up Himself for us.

My wife and I are both living sacrifices.  We listen to Jesus' guidance in our lives.  When we serve Him with all our hearts, there are no arguments and disagreements (I am not saying that we do not argue or disagree with each other.  What I am saying is that we agree with each other when God is leading us), even when what one of us needs to do is take a leap of faith to move forward with our lives.  This is possible for us because we both seek Christ with everything that we know how and God reveals to us His direction for our lives.  We both understand that when we do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewal of our mind, we are able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.  When we both agree and know that God guides us in a certain direction, we both know that all is required at this point is obedience to Him and to what He is asking us to do.  One example is our marriage.  God told us to marry each other and we did - it was not a choice made upon our minds and our minds' imaginations.

This is the what God means when He wants us to be living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to Him.  Remember that He tells us that without faith, it is impossible to please Him.  Therefore, we please God with our faith in Him and in obeying what He tells us to do.  One of the ways that we please God is by being living sacrifices.

Copyright 2011 by Christenstein

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Gen 2:18)

When God created Adam, Adam was in full communion with God.  The world has not yet fallen to sin.  Yet, God stated that it is not good for man to be alone and that He will make a suitable helper for man.  It is said that God is all we need; this is true because He is the truth, the way, and life.  Yet, in my quest of loving and putting Him first, He provides me a helper (though I am happy serving Him as a single person just a Saint Paul did).  Adam already had the greatest relationship with God, yet God provides Adam a helper (this is just how these scriptures speak to me ).

In the same way, I had been going through a life of devotion and love for Christ all by myself until the helper that He provides came into my life.  Now, we are living our Christian walk together.  I am called to love her unconditionally just Christ loves us, the church.  And, she is called to help me in this journey of loving the Lord and serving Him.  It is because He is the center of our lives that I am able to love unconditionally and she able to submit.  It is because Christ is our first love that we are able to serve one another, care for one another, and die to ourselves.  In pursuing Christ with fervor, we both are supporting each other in the faith and as a result, we grow closer to Christ and closer to each other in a way that is not possible if we were doing it on our own.

My wife is my helper in my journey of faith and in putting God first (after all, this is the greatest commandment).  The greatest commandment is not to put your husband or wife first, it is putting God first and obeying God.  In that context, God's command for husbands to love their wives unconditionally and for wives to submit to their husbands make sense.

God is very much a part of marriage, not only because it is He who is reflected through marriage, but also because He instituted it.

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Gen 2:18)

Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” (Mark 10:9)

Christ intends that the husband reflect His unconditional love to the church and the wife reflect His submission to the Father.  Clearly, the command of husband loving their wives unconditionally and wives submitting to their husband requires that we put Christ first and foremost.

Copyright 2011 by Christenstein

I woke up this morning and the first thought that came to my mind was that "God is awesome.  He is wonderful."  It was told to me that if in marriage, if I wake up thinking about someone else and feel great about it, then the marriage is doomed.  We both know that this is the wisdom of the world and that the world teaches that for a marriage to work, one spouse must thinking about the other spouse first and foremost, not another person.  This is the not the case with us.  We both think about our Father first, not each other.  And, we both ignore the advice of the world.

Yep, I am guilty of thinking about someone else with greater love and devotion than thinking about my wife.  Yep, I am guilty of loving this person more than I love my wife.  And, I am guilty of giving this person all my life and loyalty above my wife.  Yeah, it was told that if a marriage that comes to this point is doomed.  That is the wisdom of the world.

For a marriage to succeed and succeed well, both partners must put God first and foremost.  God's way is clear.  Through the death and resurrection of Christ by faith, salvation is given to man.  It is not on our works and our efforts that we rely to fulfill the law, but Christ's work and efforts that we rely on to fulfill the law.  Likewise, it is not our own work and efforts that we rely on for a marriage, but the work and efforts of Christ.  This is the way of the cross.

Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together.  One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment.   And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matt 22:34-40)

“What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”

He answered: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.” (Luke 10:26-28)

My first love is Jesus Christ, not my wife.  And, yes, she does read my blogs and know what I am writing about.  Her first love is Jesus Christ also, not me.  And, we both wake up for Him, starting our morning prayers, meditating on the Bible, writing journals entries/devotions, and thinking about Him.  

The wisdom of the world warned us that the first year of marriage is the hardest and most difficult.  Although we are not perfect and there were struggles, putting Christ in the center of our lives have made our lives together very rewarding.  The advice given to me by the old church that is we should work on a marriage.  I am not questioning the good intentions that they had, being concerned about our marriage and how it seemed to be sudden.  What I question is their understanding of what it means to love God first and to put Him first in our lives.  It is because He told to marry each other that we did indeed marry each other.  And, it is and always be will be that we put Jesus Christ, our Savior first before each other.  That is the way of the cross, the way of life.  Jesus tells us to first love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind.  Then, you love your neighbor as yourself.  He further tells us, "Do this and you will live."  Indeed, we are living, living in the grace, love, and truth of God because we put Him first.

Copyright 2011 Christenstein

As I reflect on the #scriptures, I see a loving Father who sent His one and only Son to die for us.  Christ's #atonement for the sins of humanity definitely is a testament of God's #love for us, specifically when we are still sinners He died for us.  What struck me about Jesus is that He did not just come to the earth, lived a sinless life, and then died a gruesome death for our sins.  He actually spent #time with the disciples, taught them all that the Father has told Him, and called them His #friends.  Divine revelation reveals that He loves to spend time with us.  It is written that we are the #clay and He is the #potter.  I imagine Him spending time with the disciples, teaching them and molding them into the creations that He intended them to be.

During the past few months, I had been spending a lot of time with wife.  Through times, we dealt with many different issues.  One thing is clear to us both - that God is #leading our lives, speaking to us, and telling us which direction to move.  Before I met my wife, I prayed for a #marriage where God was in the center of our lives, where He speaks to us and guides us every step of the way, and where both of us can understand and see eye to eye because God leads.  There is really no second-guessing about the big moves that we need to make as God speaks clearly to us.

Through out my life, God has been speaking to me clearly, but I did not believe it was Him until later.  I thought I may had have a mental illness and even took #medications, but when the prophecies started to come true for me, I could not deny that God spoke to me.  Listening to the Father eventually led me to the Son.  With my faith in Christ, I knew that I should follow Him with all my heart and it was difficult sometimes.  It was not easy leaving an entire church behind because He told me to.  I had made many friends there and I remember them, sometimes wondering how they are doing, but Jesus comes first and if He tells me to not association with them, then that's what He gets.  He is the #Master of my relationships, not other people who think that relationships should continue quoting scripture out of context.

I left and knew that He will be with me.  And, as I was not looking for my wife, we met.  We met in a church plant.  I have always said that God wanted me to be a part of that church plant and others have interpreted this to be a long time, but God had other ideas.  He used the church plant to bring my wife and I together.  Now, I am no longer a part of that church plant because His purposes for it, His purposes in telling me to be a part of it, had been served.  This is not to say that He may send me back there again in the way that He chooses.

And, as I spend time with my wife and God, walking with her and praying.  As I spend time with God in the mornings, reflect on Him and on His word, and write journal entries, I realized that God enjoys spending time with us.  He spent time with the disciples.  He meets us where we are.  I remember the times that He spent with me, especially (1) the times in childhood where He comforted me and talked to me when things around me were not going well; (2) the times when His prophecies for me life came true; (3) the time when He finally showed me who His Son is and what His Son means to me; and (4) many many many more times that He made His presence real.

As I reflect on God, I realize that He first talked to me when I was a child; He likes to spend time with us.  He wants a relationship with us.  It is not merely about repenting and accepting Him as our Savior, but also about spending time with Him, getting to know Him, and growing through His revelations to us. (A)  And, one of His important and greatest revelation of His grace and love to me is how I met my wife, how we married quickly because we know that He spoke to us, and how despite all the discouragements, we kept steadfast to God's word.  Now, I am enjoying God's presence not the usual way by myself, but also with my wife.  Our experience of God is together not only because we read and learn scripture together, but also because we know Him personally and interaction with Him as one would a friend.

I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. (John 15:15)

We should not only bring people to Christ, but we should also reflect Him by being their friend and spending time with them telling them the details of our lives just as Jesus did with the disciples.  It is not only about bringing people into a church and getting members, increasing numbers.  It is about relationships because that is the reason why Christ died for us, so that we can come to know the Father and have a relationship with Him.  As I look back on the lack of relationships I had at the old church, I came to realize that God was guiding and showing me His way, the way of love, and the way of relationships because that's what He is about through Christ and His death and resurrection.

(A) When I say that it is not merely about repenting and accepting Him as Savior, I am not belittling the resurrection and death of Jesus, but rather saying that salvation is much more than a transaction.  It is a relationship, one that starts when we acknowledge His death and resurrection through faith, becoming like-minded with Him and His friend.  While I understand some of you may read this as Christ-plus, I would like to point out that having a relationship with Christ is about Christ.  It is all about Christ and not Christ-plus.

Copyright 2011 by Christenstein